So I am not a modest person… I nurse in public with no cover, I talk to people about intimate things with no shame or embarrassment, I have no problem with others seeing my body (except in the fact that it doesn’t look as good as I would like it to)... I will give you warning ahead of time that I will likely talk about sex, my sexuality/sexual orientation, and both physically and emotionally intimate details of my relationship with Dubya. It is simply who I am and if I feel it might be enlightening to others (or like responses from readers might be enlightening to me), I will likely talk about it. After all, if I am going to talk about ways I think you can keep your romantic relationships healthy, interesting and thriving, overlooking sex would be negligent.
I will not, however, be writing erotica. I will only include details if and when I feel they are necessary to make the point.
On to the story here:
The other night Dubya and I managed to find some time for each other. I don’t understand exactly what happened but the emotional connection was so intense for me that I started crying in the middle of everything. I wasn’t sad or upset… I wouldn’t say they were happy tears either. I honestly couldn’t begin to try to explain the emotions I was feeling or what exactly caused those feelings to come about. It was an absolutely transcendent, almost spiritual connection that completely overwhelmed and consumed me. It sounds strange but I have only felt so complete 3 times in my life: the first time I saw P1, the first time I saw P2, and the other night with Dubya.
Dubya does not know how to handle tears. His response is almost always to either ignore them or to get defensive (neither will ever be the right response, love). But even he must have felt some of the intensity because afterwards he noticed the tears on my face and got this huge grin on his face (God, I love his smile! It was the first thing I fell in love with about him… That is a great story for another post) and said, “was it that good”?
I just snuggled up against him and fell asleep smiling.
Now I am determined to somehow recreate that feeling, but I don’t know how. I am absolutely addicted to it. I am sure I just have to accept that it is not something you can plan or make happen. It was an amazing, special moment that will happen again when and if it is supposed to. As much as I want it to happen again, it truly wouldn’t be as wonderful if I could just make it happen at will.
Has anyone else experienced what I’m talking about or am I unique in this? If anyone has experienced it, can you explain it better than I have?
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